Freezing, Falling, Changeling

Spending time thinking about how to love myself as fully as I can. Being with my children and playing, eating well, taking in the wonders of the world. Last post I pointed to yoga which I have yet to establish as a routine. Maybe I just need to find the right soundtrack.

I am glad of a bookmark. I found another welcome read online when I really desired a positive thoughts about Love to intrude in my dark cavern: MatriFocus

As we approach this chilly time of year its great to see the leaves finally falling off our trees. This summer was so heated.

Its a great delight to see people transform themselves in costume. Have you planned yours yet? I've been at a loss all month trying to grasp at the proper attire for this coming weekend... I'm sure an idea will come to my mind soon as I can't remember a Hallowe'en where I have not been in some sort of costume.

local inspiriation

my body aches & I need this sort of real practice of healing.

autumn & gray beauty

Yet another beautiful foggy drive this morning. I've been thinking of this blog and missing musing away. The autumnal equinox softly arrived with a wonderful September full moon. I'll have a lot more ideas soon. Just wanted to drop off some peaceful pictures of sitting by the water. Peace.

august kicks off

I thought it would be important to throw my stone in the stream before August concludes.

This series is another bit of phone loveliness. My son grooving in the waterfowl park this spring. One of these images was a link in this blog to Sappyfest which engulfed downtown Sackville on the first weekend in August. Its always so hectic, full of beauty and irony. I really enjoyed some of the fantastic live music shows, serving up breakfast with old friends, and welcoming visitors into the festival.

August is so busy since everyone tries to get that last little bit of summer adventure in before the heat disperses. I'm not worried, I know the fall and winter bring many an adventurous trip.

I love this last pic, a pause in the midst of rhythm and dance.
I'm heading out into the wilderness shortly for a 24 hour

journey for a very special celebration. oh yay...

I just got this short little diddy musicworm in my head:

A wild pack of family dogs came runnin through the yard one day
My father got his gun, shot it up they ran away ok
A wild pack of family dogs came runnin through the yard
And as my own dog ran away with them I didnt say much of anything at all ....
A wild pack of family dogs came runnin through the yard
As my little sister played the dogs took her away
And I guess she was eaten up ok yeah
""
My mothers cryin' blood dust now
My daddy quit his job today
I guess he was fired but thats ok
And I'm sitting outside by my mud lake
Waiting for the pack to take me away
Right after I die, the dogs start running up towards the glowing sky
They will receive their rewards........ Modest Mouse-The Moon and Antarctica

This album stuck in my discman for several years and this is one of the few songs out of all songs ever that I would put on repeat. I'm not really into listening to the same song over and over in a row but this one feels like a round that needs to be repeated until you're through with it. Look up the tune if you like its the melody and bass line that really get me.

Visual Pleasures

I am enjoying the soft breezes of the summer and the gentle turning of the mighty Fundy tide.

Missing the free time I had before returning to work but appreciating the love from my many circles of friends.

Family time is so precious and the children really know how to ground a mother in all the lovely details of life. My friend did an awesome photo shoot of myself and my children around the one year old birthday of my baby. Here are a few treats from her. If you live in the area and want some cool portraits done follow the links. A festive long weekend awaits...

Strategies for cooling down

The town is buzzing about prepartions for out big music festival at the end of the month. I am just trying to deal with our tiny heat wave here. Thank all things good that our lovely wind picked up today and knocked over many things in my yard... now we can enjoy that great natural wind phenomenon.

My town is rarely hot and I know many people in cities are struggling too. I used my new skill of driving to head out to my favourite beach in the area. Its no secret and I seem to be arriving there at least once a week this summer. Dorchester cape is home to spectacular views, dusty roads and most of all cools you down. Most folks park on the side of the road or at the interpretation center.

The best thing about the summer is making the most of every little inch of paradise you can find. Looking out for my health I keep covered most times at the beach and then those 5-10 minutes when I rip off my long shirt & skirt and run around in a bathing suit feel super special and extravagant.

A cool spring stream runs through this beach and my boys were really into walking it. Unfortunately I couldn't coordinate chess playing with the eldest. I'm going to have to start traveling with a card table for that purpose. Chess really gives me time to relax and think about other times and places. There are so many stories that could be woven into any game of chess, don't you think?

Summer has arrived

If you explore this blog you may have noticed that I am an enthusiastic radio volunteer. This summer I am co-hosting the Friday local lunchtime news entitled Boardwalk Radio. We have done three shows so far and its really interesting trying to delve into contemporary issues in a dialectic sense. I have far too often tried to ignore important events happening around me and focus on my own health, perhaps out of necessity. Tune in online 11am-1pm Atlantic Time .

As you, my reader, would know the celebration of seasons and moon cycles is a part of my joyful spiritual life. This June has flown by with many impromptu arrivals at beaches and dusty overflowing dirt roads. Every back road I see is brimming with my favourite red clover, daisy and so many greens.

This Solstice seemed turmultuous but satisfying. We attended an awesome family Summer Solstice potluck. My community also hosted special several events so driving a friend home from the party I could sense the communal satisfaction that our summertime is here and we are all super happy to be here together, and the horses and cows too. Around here people let their horses and cattle out to the marsh to pasture all summer and they all look like super groovy little communities.

My second son celebrated his first birthday this month as well. What a momentous time, remembering my hugeness and the many other memories of near birth and just after birth time. The tide of memories seems so strong right now, its hard to stay grounded in the present and not drift in and out and past and future existences. The fog that surrounded the Tantramar from solstice eve until the day after around noon seems to have stuck with me. It was so special and beautiful at the time. This is definately an early morning meandering. I hope to have a few more succint tidbits to send out to you this summer. I dig stopping and snapping fuzzy cameraphone photos of events as they happen.

Blossom Moon

Beeswax, the scent, the texture, little pieces dropping off. A constant pleasure in my life. I am extremely happy to have already had a few hours of staring off at the sky and blossoms around me, Bumblebees and hornets buzzing by. In April I was participating in a meditation on Air and really inhabited the beeness that was suggested. I loved the floaty feeling but also realized how crucial many of my little roles are in life. A bee is so important. I am not even bitter that I was recently stung by a hornet. Have a gooey & sweet Full May Blossom Moon. I certainly enjoyed my full moon celebrations this month and feel Mother Earth really blessed us, especially with the rain we received this week and many close conversations with friends.

Fires

Beltane, a chance to celebrate the union of the Lady & Lord. I am always excited thinking of the spring fires and young couples enjoying jumping the flames. Wouldn't it be awesome to jump with all your might over a fire with your hands tightly wound around those of your companion.

Opening the gates of apprehension, accepting our visions to speak to the truths of our world, the one we live in and move in. Driving around in the pouring rain today was beautiful. I am trying to understand the way an engine works after many years of believing it was unnecessary. I don't think I will ever lose the yearning for the days of pilgrimages and spending a week to go on a trip to get a few supplies. I've succumbed to the fact that I would rather make a speedy journey to the closest big store(or beach) on my own than having to spend all my time on the planning of some one else taking me. I'm sure I will have more to say on our auto-society in a future blog-note. I am also sure my strong spirit of conservation will continue. Today I'll celebrate that my own little engine fire is started and well on its way to being an accomplished driver of a family. Wishing us all safety & joyfulness this May Day!

Listened to a great radio program today.

Favorite Film Triptych

I enjoy watching movies, however I often don't make time to enjoy one of the most varied art forms of our age. In the past little while I have watched three films that I really enjoyed and wanted to pass on my reviews and recommendations. Warning. If you don't like slow movies that require a certain amount of patience don't watch my picks. I really do have a love affair with movies that seem to slow the pace of life, allowing all the beautiful refractions of light and detail to the surface.

Here is the triptypch of films that I've recently really enjoyed:

L'heure d'été , Fierce Light , Emotional Arithmetic

These three tie together perfectly in my mind. Each deals with the origins and preservation of memories and important creations of families within communities. Each also deals with mourning in its own unique way. I watched each of these with the baby napping on me in some quiet time. The movies really helped me escape into another landscape and the emotional dramas of each of them kept me glued to my TV screen.

old leaves contributing to new forest growth

I find myself fascinated with moss and rotting earth.

All the snow has melted leaving the earth littered with random hats, mittens, trash and so on. Its fun to try and gues

s when some of these crumbled up items were left behind. My son and I discussed this for awhile on a rainy walk and agreed we are really looking forward to clean sweep day in town when lots of families go around cleaning up as much of the town as possible. The old rotted leaves in the woods on our most recent hike really show the intense

regrowth and decomposition going on around us. It seems this time of year a lot of random emotional junk can surface and hopefully new insights and directions will be gained.

Christian Roots

My Easter Altar, baskets for searching and a few delicious chocolates hidden away for Sunday or Monday:

My altar has some craft pom poms that we will use during this extended break from school. A little lamb from a craft at Imbolc, also a lot of lamb imagery used in Christian teachings. A gardening book to get me thinking about what small plant projects I can take on this year, my thumb is far from green. My lovely mother angel. The box with a medieval cross on it was previously full of cards that I have almost finished giving out in the past 5 or so years. Now its home to a lovely art game, a great reminder to play many games this weekend.

I really enjoyed Palm Sunday at church with my sons & mother. For my spiritual path I have found it essential to attend a Christian church. I want my children to understand and appreciate our heritage and make their own decisions. All sides of our family tree has very strong Christian roots, thus it is important for us to examine and celebrate Christianity together. Hosanna! How beautiful it was to see all the kids dancing around the church pews with palm leaves, smiling and everyone singing together.

I am still getting a few pages of Mary Daly in every few days, the baby has had a bad cold & teething fever. It feels very right to be reading this radical feminist theologian as my Lenten project.

I wish everyone a lovely Break as families gather together and spend time breathing in the new fresh season of renewal. Just finishing up another batch of Spring is here, Bunnies and good cheer Greek Butter cookies.

Love Heidi

Spring Equinox Cookies

Spring Equinox, Equal Day Equal Night Spring is Here Cookies! I'm on my way to a party for my lucky friend who celebrates her own birthday on Spring Equinox each year, I want to rename her Goddess of the Dawn, Eostara. I've made this special version of Greek butter cookies. The Sun is neither closest to the Earth, Winter Solstice, nor farthest from the Earth, Summer Solstice. We are at the point of equilibrium. Every Springtime many people appreciate outdoor activity, fresh air, plant growth and friendship again. May you have a joyous day of balance and renewal.

March Break excursion in the Windy Snow

It was a dark and stormy day. Mama Bear said to her cub inside their warm little cave, "We have no reason to leave, we are cozy and the wind outside is howling, the snow is flying." The weather had been like this for days and days and they had seen no sun or fresh air. The little cub complained, "We have plans to go and see what our friends have put up in the museum, please Mama Bear can we put on our scarfs and explore." Since we had no school we bundled up with sleighs, water bottles, imaginations and colored pencils and headed out into the wind. Many battles and adventures ensured on our journey to and from our destination but the best part was our arrival at the wonderful museum hall.

So many bright pictures to look at! Some of our ancestors Mary Pratt and Walter Tandy Murch shared with us paintings that made us wonder, giggle and ponder. The little cub made a book copying the works of Walter Tandy Murch and titled his works as follows: the Lightning Samurai, The Flight of Heaven, zaezo, The Town of Makers, Untitled. This little family of bears is so happy to have had the chance to catch "The Spirit of Things" exhibit and recommends it with two paws up. You and your family of artists should check it out before April 18th 2010 if you're close by. Pictured below: The Town of Makers by Bergen inspired by The Gravity Experiment by Walter Murch and The Lightning Samurai inspired by the same exhibit.

Rejoicing in Daylight Savings

Time skipped ahead an hour and my mentality about waking up in the morning is so much better. Daylight savings time has allowed me to get into synch with my baby who has been waking up a few minutes prior to sunrise for several weeks. It is amazing to think that just a few numbers, the difference between 5:30 and 6:30 am, can change one's will to move so much. Sometimes it is easier to go with the flow and accept that the constructed way of seeing the day, which I have been taught and adhered to for so long, can help me reconnect with the movements of the earth in whatever small way. Whatever I needed, that extra surge and propulsion to wake up, I am extremely grateful to be at rhythm again with my more sky attuned babe.

International Women's Day March 8th, 2010

The 21st century has brought about quite an introspective Women's Day for me and my community. I always mark this festivity with an interest in activism that stems from feminist thought. Past years I have attended lectures, performed spoken word and listened to many inspiring pieces of music. This year I've been lucky to pick up a book which I bought five years ago and hid away for a future revelry. Mary Daly has always intruiged me partly because of the names others have given her: theologian, philosopher, radical feminist, academic. I have read many elaborations on language and excepts in Pure Lust and Gyn/ecology. This year she died and I realized that I needed to rediscover her classic text "Beyond God the Father." Brought up in the Evangelical Christian tradition, I knew this work would be an exciting adventure. Here is a taste of some of the principal thoughts I have enjoyed thus far in this beautifully illustrated text. Beyond God the Father includes Mary's careful consideration of other 20th century contemporary theologians. It is a slow and labourious read filled with pain and creativity. I will continue my journey throughout this week and really treat myself to some more of this landmark book:

"It would be naive to think that the healing of the divided self can take place in one act. A truly healing insight involves a will to change that externalizes itself in continually unfolding action, so that the insight grows and action becomes more meaningful. ...

in self-liberation women are performing the most effective action possible toward universal human liberation, making available to men the fullness of human being that is lost in sexual hierarchy. To oppose the essential lovelessness of the sexually hierarchical society is the radically loving act. Seen for what it is, the struggle for Justice opens the way to a situation in which more genuinely loving relationships are possible."

Mary Daly, Beyond God the Father, Chapter Two: Exorcising Evil from Eve: The Fall into Freedom.

On her website and in this book Mary asks us to remember activism.

An excellent cooperative news source that I always return to for exciting and invigorating perspectives is a project driven by an amazing community: dominionpaper.ca

It doesn't take much to realize that we cannot only consume media driven toward profit. The human interest of our economies of paper, plastic, water, energy and skills must be accurately and profoundly portrayed in media. I'm glad that so many people share their talents here in the most beautiful and striking balances. I expect to include more reviews of books, music and websites along with an everchanging understanding of divinity here on my weblog. I know that this Monday many people will be thinking about women & their ever changing impact in the world. I am glad to be a part of an international community dedicated to change and continued understanding.

the wheel of the year- sharing creativity

Chinese New Year & the New Moon are coming up this weekend. I really enjoy when many differnet traditions share holidays so all the hearts and love of valentines mingling with the arrival of the Year of the Tiger is exciting and invigorating. Its clear to me that the Chinese luni-solar year starts with the New Moon so as to promote entering a new phase or year with a clean slate and the best possible conditions for growth. Goodbye Ox and Welcome Tigress, I am planning a feast.

I received my cards right after attending a great little playgroup with my baby Ferguson.

Here in my town everyone goes to the post office and opens their own box. After I saw the package from Texas I waited until I was outside in the wind to open it and and found three bright hand stamped cards celebrating Imbolc, New Beginnings and Spring/Sun. I was really happy to get three cards as I have spent a lot of time meditating on the maiden/mother/crone aspects of Brigid during this holiday. In my preparations and studying for the celebrations I invited Brigid into my home/hearth with a steady flame and much creative thought this very chilly Canadian February. Even though we are still in the midst of snow and frost, the days have been getting longer which seemed the most noticeble right after Imbolc. There have certainly been a lot of new beginnings for me recently and I feel I have been able to face them with strength and imagination. With patience and faith I await Spring and the renewal it brings